Part of Me: Friendship, Texas #3 Page 18

  Lia put her arms out. “Come on, preggo, give me a hug so I can discreetly rub that belly before everyone gets here.”

  Before we could even embrace, an ear-piercing shriek I recognized all too well came through the doorway.

  I turned to see Emily approach some other girls from the swim team. Thank God, at least her hands were off Johnny. Those girls were followed closely by my mom’s crazy Cousin Kassi and some other family members I hadn’t seen in a while.

  “You really invited all of them,” I hiss-whispered.

  “Maybe,” Lia muttered, forcing a smile as the swim girls came over and embraced both of us like we were best friends.

  “Can you believe Johnny is going to be a dad?” Emily said, laughing with her arm around my shoulder.

  “I didn’t even know he liked the opposite sex until that meet in Austin when you two hooked up in the locker room,” a slim brunette quipped.

  Emily gave a coy smirk I wanted to smack off her face, and for the first time ever, I was grateful that my crazy Cousin Kassi broke through the swimmer girls and enveloped me in a big hug that practically whooshed the oxygen out of my lungs.

  The swimmer girls took that as their cue to leave, thankfully, as long as no one tried another hookup with my man.

  As soon as crazy Cousin Kassi let go of our hug, her eyes zeroed in on my chest. “Oh. It looks like your milk is coming in!”

  “Um...maybe?” I said, trying to figure the right way to answer that.

  Kassi blinked her big brown eyes lined with so much blue eyeliner I think she used the whole stick. “You know, if you don’t breastfeed, you can always pump and sell it. I use it for everything. It’s a great conditioner and even saline drops for my dry eyes!”

  Crazy Cousin Kassi was old enough to be my mother, so I didn’t even want to think about how she was getting this breast milk.

  “That’s really cool. I didn’t know that,” I said, forcing a smile.

  “Where’s the father? I talked to your dad yesterday. He said y’all aren’t married, but I told him that was the new normal! Travey and I were only married a month before I had Xavier, and if I were to do it all over again, I’m pretty sure I could have just gotten artificially inseminated by a redheaded man and the results would have been the same in parenting! Oh, which reminds me, I need to call potential husband number four!” Kassi squealed, pulling out her phone.

  “Now you see why we call her crazy,” I whispered to Lia as Kassi walked away with her phone to her ear.

  Lia laughed, putting her arm around me. “You should see some of my cousins in Sicily. They could probably all sit around the table and swap stories while eating cannoli.”

  I’d missed Lia, and being at the shower with her family and my crazy extended family showed that.

  We laughed. We took pictures. We ate cake.

  I thought we would open presents next, but Dana stood up, holding her ever-present clipboard. The girl had every activity timed down to the minute. “Okay, everybody. Gather around!”

  For being a petite blonde, the girl carried a presence to her. The Conti’s presence must have influenced her.

  People sat at the little round tables with blue tablecloths situated around the back room, and Dana motioned for Johnny and me to sit in two dining chairs decorated with gold cardboard with the words “Mama Fish” and “Dada Fish” painted on each one in some fancy script.

  “Now that we have your attention, we have a little party game to play,” Dana said, flashing a big white smile.

  “I didn’t know there were games,” Johnny leaned over and whispered.

  “Neither did I,” I whispered back.

  “People! People! Pay attention,” Dana shrieked, and everyone stopped their whispering as Dana’s face went from an angry scowl back to a big smile. “This is kind of like the newlywed game, except, well, they’re not newlyweds. I’ve not so subtly been asking Johnny and Sofie questions about their future baby. They each had five questions, and now, I’m going to ask each of them to see if they know what their partner answered.”

  “What?” I asked, trying to understand. Maybe this was why Dana kept asking me what college I thought the baby would go to.

  Dana held up her clipboard and turned toward us. “Johnny, what did Sofie say she wanted your baby to be when he grew up?”

  Johnny laughed, looking at me then back at Dana. “A swimmer, of course.”

  Some whoops and hollers came from the table where Jay and the swim girls were.

  Dana pursed her lips together. “Close. Sofie said ‘whatever will make him happy,’ which could be taken as swimming.”

  “Damn,” Johnny said, shaking his head but shooting a wink in my direction before he looked at Dana.

  “Okay, Sofie,” Dana started. “Who did Johnny say he thought the baby would look like?”

  “Um, him? He has the taller, Viking-like genes,” I said, which caused some laughs through the crowd.

  “Isn’t that what that blonde relay dude said about you too?” Emily yelled.

  Johnny laughed, turning his attention from me to her. “Don’t be jealous of my mad Viking skills, Speedy.”

  Their banter went back and forth for what seemed like forever until Dana stopped them, laying the smack down with one, big throat-clearing huff. “No. Actually, he said he wanted the baby to look like you, Sofie.”

  “Awwww,” came from the crowd. I thought I’d look at Johnny looking at me lovingly or something sweet like that, but instead, he was still whispering back and forth and making jokes with Emily.

  I sighed, waiting for Dana to interrupt again then go on to the next question. I tried to ignore the gorgeous brunette who monopolized my boyfriend’s attention. But when it kept on happening, it could make a girl feel inadequate. Especially when the baby shower was supposed to be my day to celebrate. Not try to hide tears as pregnancy hormones took over.

  ***

  After I said goodbye to the last family member, I finally sat down and kicked off my shoes, letting out a big sigh as I stared at the little baby gifts and the big things that families had chipped in to get us.

  “Lia, I think you pulled off one hell of a baby shower,” Johnny said, putting his arm around Lia.

  “Thanks, but really it was all Dana and Stephanie,” Lia said, pointing toward the blond waitress helping my dad and Stephanie pack some toys into plastic containers.

  “Stephanie?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “Yeah, she...” Lia was cut off when Jay came into the circle with Emily at his side. I thought maybe she would have left with the other swim girls, but I couldn’t get that lucky.

  “Hey, sorry to interrupt this touching moment or whatever it is, but Emily wants to check out the aquatic center in Rockwall. She’s never been there. You game, Johnny?”

  “Uh, yeah, I mean if it’s okay with Sofie,” Johnny said, looking down at me.

  “You gonna tell her about altitude training this fall while we’re at it and stop pussing out too? We both gotta order those plane tickets unless you want to find a new teammate to sit with?” Emily asked, raising her eyebrows.

  “Altitude training?” I asked, absently rubbing my stomach. How did this girl know so much about him? Maybe it was because I didn’t know him like I thought I did, either. Maybe this was all just a façade. And maybe I didn’t know what in the hell altitude training was or why he hadn’t told me about it.

  “Thanks, Speedy,” Johnny grumbled.

  “Dude. You haven’t told her about that?” Jay asked, widening his eyes.

  “Okay, this is really freaking awkward now,” I said, standing up and looking at everyone before focusing on Johnny. “What am I missing?”

  Johnny rubbed his hands over his face. “Uh...”

  “Oh, shit, dude, you really haven’t told her?” Jay asked, before turning to Lia and Emily. “Let’s give them a little privacy and head to the bar. Lia’s twenty-one now, and when she drinks enough moscato, she gets frisky.”

 
Lia swatted his arm and then looked at me over her shoulder. “Holler if you need anything, okay?”

  I nodded, offering her a small smile before I turned back to Johnny and crossed my arms over my chest, raising an eyebrow. “So what did you have to talk to me about?”

  He sighed. “Look, I’m not even sure if I’m going to go since we haven’t talked about it.”

  “Go where? This is the first I’ve heard about any traveling, and if you haven’t noticed, this six-month belly isn’t much for traveling,” I said, framing my stomach with my hands.

  “Yeah. This would just be me. A couple of weeks of endurance training in California and then a month at the Olympic training center doing some altitude training. I still haven’t said yes. I mean that’s a long time.”

  “So that’s like six weeks?” I asked.

  He nodded. “Maybe more. That’s why I wasn’t sure.”

  “You weren’t sure? It wasn’t an automatic yes or no? And why are you just bringing this up when we could have been talking about this?” My voice rose slightly. I would have been less angry about it if I didn’t watch a pretty brunette ex-hookup flirt with him all day then bring up that she would be the one traveling with him for six weeks.

  He shrugged. “I dunno.”

  “You don’t know? Really? Because that’s a bullshit answer.”

  Johnny raised an eyebrow. “What the hell, Sofie? Why are you getting mad at me?”

  I wanted to scream, because I freaking love you, you big oof, and I’m jealous of your ex-lady friend teammate and don’t want you to cheat on me. But that wasn’t what I said. “Because you can’t just spring up six-week-long trips on me when I’m about to dive into my third trimester, no pun intended.”

  “Well, we’re talking about it now, aren’t we? And I wouldn’t leave until July and be back by the end of August or beginning of September if I went.”

  I widened my eyes. “Seriously, how can you be so nonchalant and whatever about this? How can you be like this about everything? You can’t just ‘go with the flow’ or see where the tide takes you in everything in life. If you haven’t noticed, there’s a pregnant girlfriend around.”

  “Yeah, a pregnant girlfriend who pushes me away every chance she gets so I have to go with the flow instead of arguing about it,” Johnny muttered.

  “What was that?” I asked, my voice slightly rising, and I noticed some waiters were trying not to stare in our direction.

  Johnny sighed. “Sofie, I don’t want to argue with you.”

  “There’s no argument. Why don’t you just go? Go with your Emily to Rockwall, go with her to Colorado. Go do whatever,” I said, waving my hand as the tears welled up in my eyes. I didn’t know how I could have been so stupid. I didn’t think he would drop everything for me, but I also didn’t think I’d have to worry so much about him. Or have him keep things from me, like traveling with an ex.

  “Sofie, come on,” he said, stepping forward and putting his hands on my hips. “I know this is probably just hormones talking. Why don’t we go home? I’ll find a documentary about one of the queens, and we can relax?”

  I shook my head. “No. Just go. Go with your friends.”

  “Why do you do this, Sofie? Why do you keep pushing me away? I want to be with you, and I don’t know how many times I can show you that.”

  “I’m not in the mood to talk about this anymore, Johnny. Blame my hormones and just go.”

  “Sofie...” he pleaded.

  “Please, just go. I know you want to swim with them. I don’t want to hold you back,” I whispered, wiping under my eyes, hoping I wouldn’t start bawling. I didn’t want to give him another reason to hate me, to end up cheating on me with Emily, like he had done to her with me a year ago.

  I thought he would say something else, but instead, he just nodded. “Okay. I’ll see you later then.”

  And he left me standing there in the middle of all the blue of my baby shower, wondering what in the hell was going to happen next.

  Chapter 21

  I wanted to say things were better with Johnny and me, and there was less in Emily in the picture.

  But instead of talking things out, he spent more and more time in the pool at Fort Worth, coming home late when I was already asleep and leaving the next morning before I woke up. Of course, that didn’t add to my stress, thinking he was spending all of that time with Emily.

  Lia was busy with her internship, so I didn’t have her to talk to, and there was no way I would confide in Dad or his new girlfriend and daughter, so it was just me. Like I figured it would be all along.

  I parked downtown in front of the First Baptist Church of Friendship where the childbirth classes were taking place. It was ironic that a church was holding the classes, but they were free, and I had no idea what in the hell I was doing.

  I had told Johnny about them multiple times, and he said he would meet me here, but twenty minutes into icebreakers with the four other couples and the nurse with way too bright red hair, and it came to my turn in our “Mama and Dada circle” to share who I was and what I expected with pregnancy and motherhood.

  Just as I opened my mouth to speak, the basement door flung open, and I heard loud thuds come down the stairs. Johnny stood there in his warm-ups, his hair still wet from the pool. “Hey, this looks like the right place. Parenting 101?”

  The nurse smiled. “You must be with Sofie. You’re just in time for your introductions.”

  The nurse pointed at the folding chair near me, and Johnny crossed the room, taking his spot.

  “Okay, Johnny and Sofie, tell us about yourselves,” the nurse said with her perma-smile.

  I sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. “I’m Sofie. I’m twenty-nine, almost thirty weeks along. We’re having a little boy and have absolutely no idea what we’re doing.”

  “I echo that one,” Johnny said, and the group in the circle laughed.

  The nurse clasped her hands together. “Okay, now that we have introductions complete, we’re going to start with a small video to go over a little bit of what labor and birth are like before we get into our first lesson on coping with the pain.”

  The nurse went to a small projector on one of the tables and turned it on before pulling down a screen on the wall.

  “Didn’t think you’d actually show,” I muttered in Johnny’s direction.

  “Sorry, traffic from Fort Worth is killer.”

  “You should have thought of that earlier. Or maybe you were too busy chatting it up with Emily,” I said through gritted teeth.

  He sighed but said nothing else as the nurse started the video. A video I didn’t expect would be of a large pregnant woman moaning then a narrator talking about contractions as the woman writhed in pain. Then it cut to her sitting on a bed and a close-up of her very open vagina with a baby’s head poking out.

  “Holy shit,” Johnny muttered.

  The guy next to him nodded. “Yeah. That’s crazy.”

  “If I had seen this video in high school during science class, we probably wouldn’t be in this position right now,” Johnny said, and the other guy laughed.

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I said through gritted teeth. I shouldn’t have been as angry, but after him being so distant and worrying about where he was and what or who he was doing, it was all boiling up.

  Johnny put his arm around my back. “Oh, come on, babe, you know I’m joking.”

  “No, I don’t know that you’re joking. Because you know what? Maybe if you had used a condom on Christmas, we wouldn’t be in this mess, and you could have been happy flirting with your swimmer harem,” I hissed.

  The nurse turned away from the screen and raised an eyebrow at us. “Sofie? Johnny? Do you two need to take a break?”

  “No break needed. I’m leaving,” I growled and grabbed my purse, standing up.

  “Sofie. Stop. We don’t need to leave.” Johnny put his arm out, but I was already waddling toward the stairs.

  “S
ofie!” Johnny called, and I heard his big feet bounding up the stairs after me.

  It wasn’t until we were outside and under the flicker of the single light bulb above the door that I finally turned toward him.

  “Why are you even here, Johnny? Why?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “You know why I’m here. Because we’re having a baby.”

  “But you don’t need to be. You can go back to the pool and back to your happy-go-lucky life with your swimmer girls and your banter. I’ll be just fine. I have been, and I will be.”

  “Sofie, please. Can we stop this? I’ve been spending more time at the pool to think, and you know what I’ve figured out? That giving you your space is doing nothing. I thought that’s what you wanted, but you’re absolutely fine with pushing me away.”

  I scoffed. “I’m not pushing you away.”

  He stepped closer. “You have been since the night I met you almost two years ago. I stayed away for as long as I could, and then I couldn’t help it. Yeah, I was shocked and scared as hell when I found out you were pregnant, but I took it as the chance to do something good for us. To be there for the baby and for you.”

  “You didn’t have to be. I didn’t ask you to. And we’re just...we’re different.” I sighed. “You could be with someone like Emily. Someone who gets you. Who swims with you. Who thinks you’re funny and can keep up with everything you do.”

  “I don’t want Emily, Sofie. She’s in the past. And she never meant anything to me as more than a friend. Not like you do.” Johnny let out a deep breath and closed the space between us, putting his hand on my cheek. “I love you, Sofie. None of this kinda, sorta bull. I’ve been in love with you, and I’ve been waiting for some sort of hint that you feel the same way because I think you do. I think you’re just as crazy in love as I am and just as scared that this could all go so very wrong but don’t want it to because we’re gonna have this baby, Sofie. We’re going to be a family. This is forever. You’re forever a part of me, and I’m forever a part of you.”