The Only Way Page 6

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  My psychiatrist's office was only a block away so I felt better that at least I wasn’t lying to Sam about that, but I swear the guy could see the guilt written all over me as soon as I walked into his little room.

  He had a large oak desk with claw feet, but he never sat behind it. Instead he always sat in one of the matching leather club chairs, which meant he wanted me to sit in the other one.

  Dr. Roth was an older man with a thick silver mustache and Coke bottle glasses. He looked like one of those cartoons that people draw of psychiatrists. He couldn’t have been more of a cliché.

  “Ah, William, glad to see that you could come in early,” he said, standing up to shake my hand before he sat back down. He crossed one leg over the other so his khakis slightly rose up to show the argyle socks that poked out of his wingtips.

  Walking, talking cliché.

  I took the seat next to him and set my bag down beside me.

  “Do a little shopping? He raised an eyebrow.

  “Yeah. Just picked something up for a friend.”

  He steepled his fingers together. “A friend? Ey? Someone new in your life?”

  Shit. I knew he would pry and want to know more about her.

  “Yeah. Just a friend that’s been down on her luck.”

  He smiled. “You always were one to help out the less fortunate.”

  I nodded, unsure of what else to say.

  “Do you remember when we first met and you told me that it was hard for you to keep friends around because you were always afraid you’d either give too much or take too much from them?”

  “Yeah. I was probably high out of my mind when I said it too.”

  “Don’t you think that when you were under the influence you were always more truthful to yourself and others?” He asked.

  I blew out a breath. “Yeah, I guess. Hazards of the drugs. Probably best I don’t smoke any more truth serum.”

  He laughed.“William, I’d never condone you doing drugs, but if something is getting you to talk then that’s never a bad thing. It’s better to voice your problems than to keep them in.”

  “Yeah. I guess you’re right. You’re the one with PhD after all.” I knew it sounded canned, but it was the truth. The guy was usually right about most things.

  We went on for the next forty minutes talking about my trust issues or however he wanted to think of it. I honestly only half-listened because my mind was somewhere else.

  I wasn’t dating Sam, hell we weren’t even really friends. The last time I’d had a girlfriend was Katie Busse in middle school. She ended up cheating on me by holding hands with another boy on the playground and I got suspended for two days for beating the shit out of him.

  But this was different. I fucked a girl while I was buying something for Sam. I didn’t know what to think about it. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I usually didn’t. I kind of just went with it and that hadn’t gotten me very far at all.

  I took the prescription he wrote me and shoved it in my pocket, figuring I’d refill it on the way home.

  But I didn’t.

  Instead I rushed up to the apartment only to find it empty. Sam must have gone to work earlier.

  I took the coat out of the bag. It still smelled like that overpowering cologne from the store so I spritzed it with some Febreeze then laid it on the couch next to her pillow.

  Hashtag Cat growled at me from where he perched on the other side of the couch and then sniffed the new jacket.

  “Don’t even think about destroying this, cat, or I’m selling you to a Chinese buffet.”

  He snorted and turned his head the other way, curling back up into a ball.

  I smoothed out the coat and stepped back. I could have left a note or something, but I figured she’d know where it came from, and even if she didn’t, it would be okay too.

  Chapter 9

  The next day I woke up to find the coat gone and Sam wearing it when she came home from work that night. We didn’t say anything about it. It was as if there was just an understanding between us.

  Another week went by with us sharing the same space. She continued helping me by sending out resumes and organizing my calendar all while working almost every night at The Pancake House. Most nights I went with. She stopped asking if I was coming with her and would just hand me my coat when she was ready to go into work. We were getting comfortable. Maybe too comfortable.

  "Did you take your pills this morning? It looks like you're low on this one with the T name that I can't even pronounce." Sam rattled the bottles like she was mining for gold.

  I stood up from the couch and took the few steps to the counter¸ leaning over and grabbing the bottle from her hand. "My prescriptions shouldn't be your concern."

  "Well they are when you turn into Dr. Jekyll when you forget your happy pills."

  I stalked around the counter until I was right in front of her. Her eyes didn't look away but her breath came out shallow with her chest rising and falling in her thin tank top.

  "Do I frighten you?" My voice came out lower than I intended. A cross between a growl and a whisper.

  I put my hands on the counter behind her, splaying my fingers out so my pinky and thumb barely touched her.

  She licked her lips and shook her head. "No."

  I leaned in closer, pressing myself against her. She tilted her chin back, never taking her eyes off mine. I tried to focus on her intense stare instead of letting my gaze trail to her pink lips and the sparrow tattoos on her collar bone.

  "Most girls in your situation would either want to fight me or fuck me. The look in your eyes says you want a little bit of both."

  I pushed a fallen strand of her red hair behind her ear and trailed my finger down her cheek.

  A small smile crossed her lips. "Maybe I do."

  I leaned in closer so that my breath tickled her lips. "What would you do if I asked to kiss you right now?"

  She gripped the front of my shirt and pulled me to her. "I’d tell you not to be a pussy and just fucking kiss me."

  She crushed her lips to mine and an involuntary growl parted my lips. She nibbled at my bottom lip before her tongue slid against mine. She swirled my tongue ring with hers, claiming my mouth as her own.

  I wrapped my arms around her waist and then slid my hands lower, cupping her ass and lifting her onto the counter. Her legs pressed against my hips and I could feel her heat against me. God help me if I didn’t want to fuck her right there.

  I probably would have, if there wasn’t a loud banging on my door.

  Fuck. Who was the cock block?

  I broke the kiss and couldn’t even look at Sam as I wiped the lip gloss off my mouth and walked the few steps to the door.

  I threw it open, ready to give someone hell when I saw my brother, Trigg, standing there with a rolling suitcase behind him.

  The guy looked like hell, even worse than the last time I’d seen him. He was supposed to come back for Thanksgiving and stay with my parents the next week. But by his disheveled hair and wrinkled clothes, I had a feeling this wasn’t just an early vacation.

  “Hey, Trigg, what’s up?” I leaned my arm on the door, hoping he really didn’t want to come in, but I knew the guy wouldn’t have showed up with a suitcase if he wasn’t planning on staying.

  “Hey, brother, can we talk?”

  “Uh. Yeah. Sure.” I stepped back.

  Trigg followed, wheeling the suitcase behind him.

  Sam was standing in the kitchen, leaning up against the counter. Trigg’s eyes darted to her then he widened them. “Oh, shit, I didn’t know you had company.”

  “It’s cool. I was just about to leave,” she said and slinked toward the couch, grabbing her coat and slipping it on over her tank top. The girl was still in her pajamas and I knew she really didn’t have any plans on leaving but probably better than being in the apartment for more awkwardness.

  Fuck. Was I stupid to kiss her?

  I couldn’t even think about that because
as soon as she closed the door behind her, my brother slumped on to the couch and let out a big sigh.

  “Everything cool, brother? You need some coffee or something?”

  Trigg lifted his head up and raised an eyebrow. “Since when do you offer coffee?”

  “Hey, everyone has to have their vices and it helps make my arsenal of pills go down, then I’ll take it.”

  He nodded. “I guess that’s fair. You going to tell me about that girl that just left in her pajamas?”

  I leaned against the counter, crossing my arms over my chest. “I think you should explain why you’re here a week early with a suitcase, first.”

  He groaned, shaking his head and putting his hands on his knees. “Roni’s going through with the divorce proceedings. She wants full custody of Bella and I had to get the fuck out of there for awhile. I just couldn’t go through the motions knowing how badly I fucked up there. I needed to be somewhere else. Somewhere to get my head figured out.”

  “What about work?”

  He smirked. “I’m in marketing. Everything is online now and I can work anywhere with Wi-Fi.”

  “Mom and Dad have great Wi-Fi and I’m sure they’d be happy to have you for awhile.”

  He shook his head. “As much as I love Mom and Dad, I know they’re going to shit when they find out and I want to keep from the blowback as long as possible.” He drummed his fingers on his knee. “So I was kind of hoping I could crash here, on your couch, just until things settle down and I figure out what I’m going to do.”

  “My place?” I put my hands down. “You know I live in a fucking studio, right? You could go stay at Trey’s. At least he has an extra bedroom.”

  He laughed, but there was no humor in it. “Yeah, an extra bedroom that is being turned into a nursery. I don’t want to be reminded of what I’m missing at home or be in the way.”

  Trigg stood up. “Come on, brother, help me out. I’d do the same for you and you know it.”

  I blew out a breath of air through my nose and rubbed the back of my neck. “I mean it would be cool with me and all, but, uh, that girl that just left? She’s kind of crashing here for awhile too.”

  Trigg’s eyes widened. “You have a live in girlfriend and you didn’t tell me?”

  I shook my hands. “No. No. It’s not like that. She’s just needed a place to stay until she finds somewhere new. She shouldn’t be here long at all. You guys can just each crash on separate couches or whatever. It should be fine. Just a tight fit.”

  “All right, brother, I guess I don’t have much of a choice. It’s either this or sleeping in a crib at Trey’s.”

  We shook hands and I went to figuring out Sam’s fancy coffee machine. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be and I had to admit that those little one cup cappuccinos were actually pretty good.

  By the time Sam came back, Trigg and I were both sitting at the counter, drinking out of some of her Sturgis coffee mugs.

  “Brotherly bonding go okay?” She asked, slipping off her shoes.

  “Yeah. It looks like we have a new roommate to add to the mix,” I said, setting my cup down.

  Sam blinked rapidly. “Your brother is moving in here?”

  “Just for awhile. If you two want to go shopping for bigger couches, you’re more than welcome to. I’m sure no one will question you guys using my black card,” I said, taking a sip of my drink.

  “If you want, I can find somewhere else to crash.”

  I stood up and grabbed her wrist. My dick jumped just at the touch of her. Fuck. This couldn’t be good.

  “It’s fine. You and Trigg will be fine here. We can all make it work.” I forced a smile and when she looked at me, her eyes filled with worry, I knew I was a goner. That kiss had affected me more than I thought. Now that I wanted her this bad, Trigg had to walk in and add a third wheel to things. It may have been for the better. I didn’t know where things would go with us if I did fuck her, but damn I wanted to find out.

  Chapter 10

  I couldn’t sleep. Not just because Trigg snored like a freight train, but my mind was all over the place.

  I was now very aware that Sam was only a few feet from me, wearing very few clothes. I thought about her full lips and that tongue ring.

  Fuck me.

  I didn’t obsess over girls like this. Ever.

  Maybe I had to hook up with someone else to get her out of my system.

  Or maybe I needed something else.

  Fuck sobriety.

  I got up slowly, even though I knew my bed didn’t squeak in the least and Sam was a heavy sleeper. The girl had four alarms on her phone just to wake up in the morning.

  Grabbing a pair of jeans and shoes from my closet¸ I slowly slipped them on and then threw on a hoodie that was on the floor near my bed. I tiptoed toward the living room and almost made it to the counter when I heard a soft voice.

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  Fuck. How did the heavy sleeper wake up?

  I turned and held my breath. The moonlight trailed in from the window and illuminated Sam’s face. She had completely washed off all her heavy makeup and looked even more ethereal.

  I had to slowly count my heart beat until it was back to normal before I spoke. “Just going for a walk.”

  “Want some company?” She asked.

  No. “Yes,” I said, before I even thought about what I was saying.

  She sat up, the blanket dropping to her lap. She was in another one of her thin tank tops and her nipples hardened under it as soon as she dropped her blanket. I tried not to look but my eyes kept drawing to them.

  I almost breathed a sigh of relief when she threw on her coat and covered them up. “Okay. Hopefully it’s not too cold,” she said and slipped on her shoes by the door.

  “Yeah.” I couldn’t think of anything else to say so I just closed the door behind us and shoved my hands in my pockets.

  We rode in silence down the elevator to the front doors. It wasn’t until we were almost a block from my building that she spoke. “You weren’t really going to just go for a walk were you?”

  I raised my eyebrows. “What the hell makes you say that?”

  She smiled, shaking her head. “Because I know you, Tripp. I mean, I haven’t known you that long, but I know your routine and you’re not the type of guy that just takes a walk unless he has some sort of agenda with it.”

  I scoffed. “I do not always have an agenda.”

  “Yeah, you do, and it’s not a bad thing. You know what you want and you figure out how to make it happen. You may not think you know what you’re doing in life, but subconsciously I think you really do.”

  I laughed. “What, were you a psych major in college?”

  She folded her arms across her chest. “No. I was a business major. I don’t know what the hell I thought I was going to do with it, but it was something.”

  “You don’t have to know what you want in life all the time. Sometimes you just have to take a flying leap and hope something good comes out of it.”

  She looked up at me, her eyes reflecting off the street lights. “Like you taking me in?”

  I licked my lips. “Yeah, something like that.”

  Her bottom lip trembled and I noticed she was shivering. “Come here, you’re shaking.” I put my arm around her and pulled her close.

  The jacket no longer smelled like store cologne or Febreeze. It smelled like coffee and syrup. The smell that was uniquely Sam.

  She didn’t pull away but she didn’t get any closer either. “So, what was your real plan coming out here? Drugs? Girls?”

  I squeezed her shoulder. “I didn’t have any sort of an agenda.”

  She laughed. “Didn’t we already go over this? This is coming from the guy that when he says he’s going to run errands comes home with dinner or even a coat.”

  Sam didn’t look up at me as she spoke and I couldn’t read her. I wanted to know exactly what she was thinking.

  “Whatever I mean
t to take a walk for, I don’t think it matters anymore.”

  “Good, because if you were going to get high, I would probably have to kick your ass.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “What if I was going out to get laid and you were following me to a brothel?”

  “A brothel? Does anyone even actually call it that? Wouldn’t it just be a whore house?” She laughed.

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never actually been to one and that’s what they call it on TV.”

  “I highly doubt you’ve never been to one. Don’t they have escorts and strip clubs now?”

  “Haven’t been to one of those in awhile either.”

  We stopped at a street corner with the 'do not walk' sign blinking. We could either keep going or we could turn and head back toward my place.

  Or I could just stop and kiss her.

  I shook that thought out of my head. She was probably completely weirded out by our kiss and didn’t know what to say. We hadn’t exactly had time to talk about it since Trigg was around but she was a girl and probably wanted to talk at some point about the kiss and maybe about the next steps in whatever this relationship was. I didn’t even know what the hell I was half the time let alone my relationship with someone else.

  The light flashed to the ‘walk’ sign and Sam started walking, so I guess we were going to keep going. I didn’t know how long we would keep going or where we were going but I figured it didn’t hurt to keep walking. At least until something froze off.

  “You know you have another job interview tomorrow. I guess it’s technically today,” Sam said as we walked past a few closed department stores.

  “Yeah.” I put my free hand in my coat pocket. It was really starting to freeze. I wanted to go back inside or find somewhere to duck into but I didn’t want to seem like a pussy either. “Another bank or something downtown, right?”

  “I think this one is actually a mortgage broker.”

  I laughed, my breath coming out as a cloud. “I can never keep them straight.”

  “Why do you keep applying and going for these jobs if none of them actually seem to interest you?”

  “Because I’m a man with an MBA, a father who is governor, a brother who will probably be president and another one that is currently living on my couch, but otherwise has a damn good six-figure job. It’s a lot to live up to.”